Writing for Freedom

Heaven Sent

2010-04-28T12:28:00.001-07:00

I want to explain, instead a smile remains,
Constantly contemplating reasons why
I wanna make you smile enough to make you cry
When trying my mind slows
Is this love? No
But I really don’t know
At this pace we determined its right
Blessing but not disguised
Changed my life, dark to light
Is she it? Maybe
Until then she’s my baby
We go together like pork chops and gravy
Can always make you smile
You return the favor
I Am Sure Simply because
She’s my Angel.
Yes.

Some Things I wrote, nothing special

2010-04-20T17:57:00.000-07:00

I want to Close my eyes, feel my heart, the spark, hear silence, feel the time that goes by, open my eyes just to hear you smile.

I want to explain, instead a smile remains, constantly contemplating reasons why, I wanna make you smile enough to make you cry.

Yesterday I Wasnt, Today Show Me

2010-03-29T14:15:00.000-07:00

Wishing someone could understand me the way you thought did
The way you loved, the way we lived
Hurting realizations of my mind
Plaguing my rest, sleeping eventually lands with time
Courageous actions on my behalf
You thought one thing I knew another
Half full hour glass
Wouldn’t allow you to smother
Recalling statements and behavior
You should of noticed my intent
I thought you were my savior
Freeing me from slavery, allowing compensation for my labor
Wanting to show you all, without being myself
I feel more pain and disgust today, you thought it was heartfelt
Ball on chain, but I kept the key
Did not allow you to see the receipt
Wishing I should’ve shown you
The prisoner in me was you, we could’ve been at peace
The prisoner in you was love, that thought could not be less true
An underlying dormant fate was predetermined
Your were the victim of my obstacle
The fact was it was not all a fable
My confusion was only apparent when the horse left the stable
True love a statement that is not earned

Instead a gift
In love is what I have left to learn.

3:37 AM

2010-02-24T11:37:00.000-08:00

Lives lost in passion
Reminiscent of entrapment
Enemies bled while u slave the masses
Mind colluded in deepness
Seeking for forgiveness
But won't allow your enemy to see such weakness
They were here and you found peace
Not peace of mind; but no sight or sound
Def and blind
Can't remember past 10
Its a blessing to stop at 9
Constantly thinking how u made it this far
With such a frail mind
Losses combined with wins
Thoughts of the slain seep deep within
Time for a change; a rule to bend
Responsibilities gained and some lost
Found honor in paying cost
Permanent changes to all
Lives connected by the actions of your passions
Speak clearly
Don’t run rancid
Be mundane
Not everyone’s loss is another gain
Not every animal can be tamed
Learn to seek the ability to train
Fly without wings
Precipitate without rain
Goals, love, honor.
The lack of pain.

GOALS

2009-12-21T13:32:00.000-08:00

Dating back we all have the same goals. Some of us have alternative goals, and lots of short time goals in between the ultimate goal. The “Ultimate” goal I’m referring to is growing old with your mate with kids and grandkids etc. So why are we not striving for this goal? Its all programmed in us to have someone. Some of us have lots of relationship searching for that special someone, and some of us don’t even waste the time.

My question is with all the goals you set, money, car, education, etc when do you decide that you will find that special person?

What if you found this person when you where 16, and everybody told you:

You’re too young, you want to have a kid, you haven’t even finished high school. These are also the same people that say you never know when you find love. So you don’t have this person now and you are constantly in search for the feeling that you had with him/her.

Lets talk about: Love, love is just an emotion, love does NOT conquer all. Its just like being sad or happy; its exactly the same. Just like this person you told you love when you were 16, then you turn 23 and say: “That doesn’t count I was young and didn’t know what love really meant.” BULLSHIT. You know what love is at the youngest of ages, stop putting so much on LOVE. When in reality it’s the PERSON that you are in the relationship with that makes you want to grow not an emotion. Love is just the word you use to express/describe the feeling you get when your with her/him.

When do I decide that Im done with dating? Do I actually decide? Or do I meet someone that changes my mind?

Somebody let me know why we put so much effort in to getting rich. Imagine if we put that much effort into our relationships!

In conclusion, be open and take everything/everyone for its worth. Don’t say what you wont do, and don’t listen to anyone, follow your heart ignore your mind, and be happy.

Passion

2009-12-11T17:22:00.000-08:00

I seek the ability to look into your eyes and see us
So close to you that we breathe in sync
Close my eyes and push my love thru my lips
While my eyes are closed the fire burns in the pit of my stomach
Abstract art floats through my head
Cant put in words the feeling I seek
When our eyes finally open the fire remains
Heart like the drums of the motherland
My eyes well seep through you, while you allow me to penetrate without motion
Your smile supplies the earths glow
I Love US; slight whisper from my lips
You complete me; whisper from the curves of the queens mouth
I Thank You
You Thank Me
Was I even breathing? I crave this feeling.

5 Letter Word

2009-11-24T11:07:00.000-08:00

5 Letter Word

This
Thing
is Pure
Its Pleasant
Professional
Oh so passionate
Its piercing
Promiscuous
So good to me Its paralyzing
And utterly patient

This
Thing
destroyed lives
Its Unique
Urban
Unanimously loved
Undeniable
Never undesirable
Unconditional
No No No its not Ugly
But sometimes unaffordable

This
Thing
Creates lives
Its so Seductive
Soft
Sexy
Sharp
Seasoned
very Secure
Slick
Sometimes Social
Succulent
Scrumptious
I love when
It Smiles
I make it Sing
Its Superb

This
Thing
is the good evil
It makes us Yearn
Keeps you
Youthful
hopefully not Yucky
makes some want to Yell!

In So many Words
Its Basically:
Powerful
Understanding
Strong
Sweet
& Yummy.

Most Of All
Beautiful.

2009-11-17T13:15:00.001-08:00

Success

To be or not to be
That is the question
Success is a necessity
Yall must pay attention
To patronize the almighty
You do whatever it takes for money
You smile when it aint sunny
You laugh when it aint funny
Show yo ass like a bunny
Do it all for the dollas!
To look down on those who don’t have it
I aint saying be broke
By all means get yours
But don’t burn bridges
Just to open up doors
To some successful means living your dream
The money, cars, clothes, and hoes
Don’t define success as being frivolous
Its supposed to be looked at in the positive
Oh so being successful is about those
A guess drug dealers, and thieves are thriving in bliss
To me success is a necessity
Success to me is the same things
I just prioritize
We have to thrive
Therefore I have to provide
My family needs financial support
If my son or daughter want to dance or play sports
I’m successful because He judges me
I don’t need you to see
CEO means nothing at the pearly gates
Do it to support your family, and better humanity
Ultimately GOD determines our fates

Lonely Seed

2009-11-11T14:41:00.000-08:00

Like rain against the windshield
I am the wipers
I erased what you did
I am the windshield
Still spots of your rain remains
I am a part of you
So when will I rain on your parade?

Brown Sugar: Perfection Personified

2009-11-06T17:06:00.000-08:00

Round Bottom, Perky Top
You can be Dark as Chocolate
Light as Butter Scotch
As long as you a Sista
We can tie the knot

Simplistic energy
Correcting me when Im wrong
Backing me when Im right
Can make love all night

Eyes twinkle with passion
Curvaceous in every fashion
Smarter than the rest
Shes the fucking best

Brain sharp
Voice glows like a harp
Lips soft and comforting
Loves so deep its smothering

Intellect equal to professor
A Smile to ruin the minds of evil
She destroys the lesser
Tongue slashes like swords from the times of medieval

Knows her role and displays class and grace
Words cant describe the beauty of her face
Embodies perfection in every aspect
Puts her best foot forward and demands respect

As I picture you
Still, I don't have a picture of you
Please present yourself
So this dream can come true.

NO TITLE

2009-11-02T16:49:00.001-08:00

Drowning in my own sorrows
Living life like fuck tomorrow
Staring at 4 corners and empty bottles
Promised myself ill be there in a hour
But I often lack the power
My bitterness and pride I swallow
Driving in the dark with shades on at full throttle
Flipping off good people and role models
The epitome of wallow
I see a coward, scared of what life has to offer
Feeling Like the shell of a sunflower
Never blossomed to a leader
Bred to be a follower
Ashes fall on my chest
Phalanges burned from all the drugs and cigarettes
I hope you look at me and see promise
I see a nigga with a attitude with a body to tarnish
Wise words I dismiss
My ignorance is bliss
I carry the scares of satan
Slain soldiers with a flick of my wrist
Spent 5 years in it and look at me
They call me a vet I feel more like a G
Give me the Green Light Lord I wanna come home
Give me the Green Light Lord set me free.

Observations of a Yound Old Man

2009-08-12T15:38:00.000-07:00

Me. I want a few things in my life before I pass on. At a young age my only goal was to play college basketball. Once that idea vanished, I opened up to the real world. My views on life and relation changed. I have been in a total of 2 relationships (one lasting 5 ½ years). I have to this point been observing every woman I come encounter with. I have came to the conclusion a few things. Being my age, 24 almost 25, I am a man with different moral and value of responsibilities than the average 24 year old male. I never feel I am “better” than the next man. I just don’t fit in any 24 year olds “category.” One type of young man is the “partier”, clubbing, different women, drinking probably don’t have a good job. Next one is the “graduate” trying to find himself, moved back to his hometown, single but on his way to finding a good career. The other is a bum, just don’t do nothing, smokes all day, no ambition, asking for gas money still living with parent(s). In California, we have one more class. The “entertainer” this could be anyone from rapper, dancer, actor blah blah. Then there is ME. I party, only sometimes and only on the weekend. I went to school, only for a few months. Im never a bum, don’t want to be an entertainer. I just work and try to find ways to make more money for my future. I fit the “old man” category if there one. In my opinion, easy to please, you have to clean up, cook, sex, part time job (to help me out) and I got everything else I will clean to I like to be a clean dude. To my most recent ended relationship, I realize what a headache I have been and Im sorry for the confusion I have put on you because of my confusion.

You. You women see me as a young and old man. I like the idea of coming home to a clean house and a cooked meal. I will bust my ass everyday for that reason. The problem is you and me. I feel like I am 35 years young. Im don’t think on the same level as any other guy my age. Most compliments I receive from women my age or younger are that I am attractive. Most compliments I receive from women that are 28 or older are that I am special and a good guy. So I take all that in. Women my age fit the same categories as men my age. So you young women see me and are like, “he’s cute, he got a job, but he want a wife and Im not ready.” I don’t want a wife right now. I just don’t want to waste our time. Im not about to deal with nobody unless I feel you are good enough to start a family with. Yall younger women see me, and still have things to deal with internally to progress to be a woman. Older women see me and want me for me right now! But most older women have kids already. Sorry, but I want to start a family not be a part of yours. My goal in life is too grow old and to see my great grandchildren. In the meantime, I will provide for my family that’s what I do.

So my question is what do I sacrifice? Stay with the younger one and wait? Get with a older one that might have a kid or 2? Wait until I find the woman that can accept me and wants the same thing out of life right now? Where is the woman that is like me? Until then Im going be by my lonely, don’t take it personally ladies. Let me do me because you cant do me. I want to be good man, husband, father, what do you want?